The old familiar sting

"..the needle tears a hole....the old familiar sting..."

From Nine Inch Nail's "Hurt", could've been a soundtrack to my recent emotional mood, at least creatively as I felt stuck, something didn't feel right about myself in regards to my work, I couldn't figure out what to do about it and it basically hurts.

This is becoming a familiar sting in the creative process to me. I dare speculate that it might be something other creatives live through, but can't really be sure. As I find myself at the end of this most recent episode, I reflect upon it and speculate.

This time around I found my way out unintentionally in a way. I took it upon myself recently, to start prepping to print, mat and frame some of my recent pieces. The initial drive was an Art Call asking for submissions and knowing I should try to get my work out there more, thus I decided to prep at least one image for this call. As I started the process, delving into print sizes, cropping, matting, frames, reviewing which images could potentially be used, I noticed the fog starting to lift.

Was it the call to action that lifted the spirit? Maybe, but I had been routinely going out every week to take pictures, so I can't say inactivity was the reason for the gloom. Maybe it was because it had become routine-like action and I needed something different to focus on in order to re-energize? or maybe because I hadn't printed in a long time and something within me was reacting to the missing piece of the equation? Maybe a little of all the above.

I guess my take away is to rather than dwell on the sting, view it as my compass, trying to steer my course to something, be that activity, mixing up the routine or assessing whether I'm neglecting something.

Andres Gonzalez

Note: I chose a picture from about a year ago, taken in a series I had called "Beauty among the thorns" in which I explored the cacti flowering, how it flourishes among thorns. I was interested in how a plant living in a harsh environment could bloom in the different ways they do. I guess in a way I felt it correlate to this week's musings on this post, that beauty can emerge from an episode of self doubt.